Those sounds like plenty of appropriate chores, helping & becoming responsible for your own room.
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I am teasing…my parents also believed that school and play activities came first and that while they taught us to care for ourselves and take responsibility for things, we never did real chores. I didn’t do dishes ever or laundry. My brother never mowed the lawn until he was way in his teens and he got paid for it. Yes, for me, it was more about self-motivation to have a nice, neat and clean room.
We did chores because we wanted to…especially as we got older and wanted spending money beyond our “allowance”. I will also say that I grew up with household people: cook, cleaning, landscaping, maintenance and driver a lot of my life overseas…when I went to college, I had to learn a lot from my college roommate…I didn’t even know how to cook an egg…
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Honestly, we need them to contribute. Full time work & a big house, it’s too much for us. They have SO MUCH free time, we’ve barely got any! Their chores take maybe an hour on the weekend, I don’t feel bad about that at all.
They do all their own laundry, the dishes, dusting & vacuuming, bathrooms, & whatever else comes up. We do a lot for them, it’s expected they cheerfully help with whatever we need from them.
We don’t give them an allowance but will give them money as needed.
Oh, and they cook. For themselves, each other, guests, and us. They’re so good at it!
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Yeah, I’m super messy, but I don’t think it’s because of how I was raised. I had some chores, but not a lot; I decided on my own to do my own laundry as a teen, kept my mess to my room. I’m not lazy, nor entitled. My mom was/is super tidy and clean. Not quite sterile, but not quite not. 
I don’t expect that someone else will come along after me, I am just more naturally focused on “progress” vs “maintenance.” If I have easy organization options, I will keep them. My dreams are for way more storage space, not way more things to put in it.
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I think @Abbeeroad was talking more about her younger kids…the saddest thing I ever saw was a child about 12 doing the grocery shopping at Walmart… wouldn’t you think an employee would notice him when he checked out? I guess with self-checkout, they don’t pay much attention?
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My older son doesn’t really have chores either. I think it stems from me being given too much responsibility at a young age, so I’ve swung in the complete opposite direction for my kids. They should be given the time and space to be kids. It’s such a short period of their lives.
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Funny how these things are experienced differently in different cultures! I wouldn’t think it odd at all if a 12-year old went grocery shopping, it’s not unusual here and I wouldn’t pay attention to it - it would be if we’re talking two weeks of groceries, of course. 8 or so is not an unusual age for parents to start to send their kids to the store to grab a couple of things. Of course, we are in a country where grocery stores are usually within cycling distance and it’s not unusual for children to be on the street, unattended by adults.
I think @Magpie 's kids are adults, right? I would definitely expect adult kids to pitch in, I mean, they would have to do that if they lived with roommates, too. It’s easy for me to say this as a non-parent, but I think you have to find a balance somewhere in the middle between using your kids for free labour and raising kids who feel entitled and are unable to be responsible. And different kids probably need different approaches, which I isn’t easy when you want to treat your kids equally, which I assume is what most parents want.
One of my coworkers is only a little bit younger than I am, but is clearly coddled very much by his parents, and expects his female coworkers to mother him as well. Of course that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. I assume nobody wants their child to be that guy (he doesn’t get why he’s still single as his mum tells him he’s a catch). On the other hand, I grew up on a smallholding. It never brought in any money (on the contrary, it lost so much money my parents lost the property completely in the Great Recession). My dad demanded a lot of help outdoors, and also demanded I worked a job, as well as go to school and help my mother out indoors. I thought that was normal, I didn’t resent it at the time, but I’m convinced that working me that hard when I was only a teenager hurt my health permanently. My health didn’t start to improve until I moved out.
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Our teens are both 16 in grade 11. My eldest is almost 23, he works & pays rent as well as does chores & he’s helpful with whatever I ask of him. I’m mindful of respecting & supporting their interests so although life here is full of hard work they all seem happy & nobody’s really in any hurry to move out on their own.
We talk a lot about how to convert this house into a multiplex so they’ll all have space of their own to live in if they want to stay close to mom ‘n’ pop. It’s part of our eventual home reno plans but we’re just in the saving up phase at this point.
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I don’t blame them, you and Rob are awesome. I’d stay, too!
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I am really hoping that the “stigma” or whatever of families living apart goes away. It makes economic and emotional sense for multi-generations to live in the same house. Yes, it is more ideal if they have their own “space” and such, but just knowing that family is close at hand is comforting.
I am looking at houses that have almost separate suites within the home for the possibility that one of my great nieces or nephews wanting to live independently but still with family.
I’d never leave your house either…
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Proof Mr. Road has been working on the stairs:
These are landing and support pieces. The treds will be wood. He’s brought pieces in to show me how they will fit and it’s very exciting!
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Wow, industrial strength!
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That looks really cool! And I’m impressed with his skills.
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So am I! Continuously.
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Awesome!
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@Abbeeroad WHOA. Mr. Road doesn’t mess around! Impressive!
Today I fixed one of the upstairs toilets by replacing a part in the tank. I was really dreading it, remembering the last time I worked on this particular toilet’s guts. Well, luckily the part I replaced was not the part that was such a pain in the patootie last time and it’s done! WOO! Now, I feel better about tackling the other one after I pick up the part - it’s working, but it’s noisy and water is filling the tank from a place it’s not supposed to. Sigh.
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Super cool! Is he a welder?
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Not professionally. He’s an electrical engineer. But he does love to weld. Metal is his preferred medium.
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Oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh
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